Wednesday, June 6, 2012

a poem about me


so i notice my friend sitting at the computer with a composition book.
this can only mean one thing.
lyrical endeavors have been embarked on recently.
he says i will get to read one soon.
i'm excited about this.
i often stalk his blog
waiting for new works.
i had even planned to mention to him
his long absence
and how he needed to get his stuff together
but then i quickly forget.
and go on to something else.
egg rolls maybe.
or nba finals.
might have been an episode of what not to wear.
who knows.
i did a plenty of nothing last night.
but then i remember
and pick up my phone.
go to safari.
and type in the address
yes.
new post.
i just knew it.
read.
read.
read.
stop.
wait.
back up.
read again.
who is he talking about?
and-what-n0t.blogspot.com.
oh.
me.
he's talking about me.
...
me?
close phone.
get up.
walk around.
why would he do this?
a poem about me?
i can't read a poem about me!
in retrospect
this is all too dramatic.
not this big a deal
i'm sure.
but really.
the last poem i read about me
was written by a friend i don't have anymore.
a friend i still love
and would love to have as a friend.
but that decision wasn't mine
and i don't have anymore.
maybe that's why i couldn't sit down and read it.
or maybe i'm just a debo
who doesn't like emotions.
only God knows
for sure.
but i did sit back down
and read it.
and wow.
he's a good writer.
(the "I" placements are genius)
and wow.
God's a good God.
you ever realize you have an impact
when your blows feel so weak?
or that someone sees you standing
when you are really broken down to the knees?
bent?
wow.
so yeah.
God's a good God.
i'm glad He uses me.
convicting though.
that was definitely a first thought.
really?
so it matters what i do?
if i stand?
shhhhuccckkkssss...i really need you, Lord.
so yeah.
Thank you, Armas for the kind words
and for your own standing.
it is also a blessing.

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