Thursday, June 30, 2011

so much to be thankful for

I was just reading my last post and realized i am being terrible angsty right now...
and completely forgetting the incredible-ness that is my God!

shame on me

I have been blessed beyond beyond 
and I'm sorry to you for not sharing that
(maybe you need some encouragement and not some cryptic artistic groanings)
I just got back for bible camp
went as a counselor
but was too blessed/convicted/encouraged to pretend it was all for the kids
well in a way it was
since i came back refresh and ready to give more to them
got time off work for a youth retreat coming up
even though I've already taken off sooo much this year
best boss ever
miraculously got rid or a sore throat the day before camp
and miraculously gained it back right after we got back
I think not
He is so good to me
sister's wedding plans are coming together
and she isn't broke yet
came up with a 100% grade a awesome idea for the reception decor
which she looovvvess
you will have to wait and see...
gained back a love that I thought i lost
let's just say prayer changes stuff :)
realized that I have the best friends/family/bus workers in the world!
and am still breathing
still breathing nebraska air
smell s like the will of God :)

I know this is long
but really there is more
there will always to more
no matter how hard I try
I can't repay Him for saving me
and even if I were to ever get close
he just keep piling it on
I am truly blessed
I just don't say it enough

shame on me

here's a poetic send off:
(evidently, ungratefulness is a reoccurring theme for me
'cause I wrote this way back)

when I sit down to write
the emotions and thoughts that pour out
so often reveal only my suffering
and the trials that plague my life

maybe it’s easier to speak of my pain
than to try to put into word form all that I've gained

or maybe I'm just too self-centered
to ever consider
giving You the glory

but whatever it is
that leaves me speechless
at least to articulate
the great wonders I've gleamed
doesn't seem to affect
my utterance
of the sorrows I've seen

and for that
i am sorry
and I'll be quiet now

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