Wednesday, October 31, 2012

More David Musing


ok.
i know i talk about his man a little much
but David's was always my favorite Bible story.
my friend says
"i don't know whether you are in love with David...
or you think you are David"
truly
i don't know
i just don't know
all i know it that David is a perfect example of a man, saved.
loves God
fails often
repents
needs to be told off sometimes
mourns and repents again
wins victories that he should not be able to, but does through God's power
has faith
hurts
feels so many things
talks to God about it.
man
i wish i was David sometimes
He had a heart like God's
so yeah
i try to learn from him.
and who doesn't love the Psalms?!?
That's a picture of true prayer right there.
lay it all out there
lay it all down
and praise Him through it all.
anywho,
here is a little more musing about David
and what God showed me through his life and his writing.

.............................................................................

David asked his soul questions
i wonder if this was a ongoing problem for him
his soul
being castdown
if he felt like this often.
three times he asked his soul the questions

"why are thou cast down?"
"why are thou disquieted?"

three times

his soul had lost hope
his soul was indeed
cast down
disquieted
and he asked his soul why?

why would you be this way, soul?
what are your reasons?

but David gave his soul no room to answer
he just told his soul what it should do
he told his soul what was
and what was going to be

hope in God
hope in God, soul
you might as well, soul
for i
i will yet praise Him
i'm going to praise Him no matter what your reasons, soul
you already know, soul, who holds the victory
who wins battles
who heals countenances
so why are you cast down, o my soul?
hope in God
that's the answer
hope in God
i'm not giving you a choice, soul
i'm not giving you a chance to sway me
i'm commanding you, soul
hope thou in God
for i will yet praise Him
i will be praising Him
for He's the only help for me
for you, soul
for He's our God

................................................................................

Psalm 42:5  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Psalm 42:11 Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5  Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.


Thursday, September 27, 2012

scars


you gotta stop indulging yourself
your pain
you gotta take a moment
to listen to a happy song
once in a while
maybe about God love or His faithfulness or something
that doesn't remind you
of other things

you gotta stop shutting God out
out of your pain
you gotta take a evening
to just sit and cry and pray
even if it's just moaning
and venting
and doesn't seem to accomplish anything

you gotta stop
stopping Him
from healing the wounds
from making scars
from letting them just go ahead and close and scar
scars aren't shame
open wounds are though
open wounds are sick
and gross
and no one can look pass them
no one can see pass them
but scars tell stories
scars give warnings
and usual
they are pretty cool looking

Monday, September 24, 2012

thoughts

have you ever tried to place things in some logical order?
but those things do not quite exist?
only in your own mind.
not yet anything.
nothing more than dream, adrenaline and thought.
so how do you place them?
organize and share them with the world?
i know i must sound very artsy right now.
intricate for no apparent reason.
like a bad camera angle in an indie flick.
what did the director even do that for?!
i know i must.
i am just trying to sort it out.
the thick airy mist of genius and ignorance that is floating through my head.
which are which?
which gaseous forms must i harness and make solid?

Thursday, August 2, 2012

TCM Summer


Summer under the Stars on TCM has begun.
rarely watch TCM anymore.
they just haven't been playing my style
(at the right times)
in a while now.
but i'm muy exicted about this month.
yay :)
"i used to love him"

and i must say that the graphic team @ TCM does not disappoint.
the graphics on the SUTS page are perfection.

Check out the SUTS schedule & plan to spend some time with some oldies.
but goodies :)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

God Knows My Heart


Been thinking about alot of things lately.
David has been one of them.
and how profitable it is for us that God gave us the old testament.
true schoolmaster.
And i had a "Ah ha" moment.
(or a dahh moment as my niece would say)
My sister told me i should write it down.
Here it is.
.............................................................................................................

"Oh but God knows my heart"
Oh yes
You're right
He does
He also knew David's Heart
You know
David?
The guy God looked down at and said
That man
That man right there
Heart like Mine
(Acts 13:22)
A man after Mine Own heart
The only One that can know hearts
(Jeremiah 17 : 9 & 10)
Looked down at David's and said
That heart
That heart is like Mine
And that David
Still paid
Fourfold
(II Samuel 12)
One
Two
Three
Fourfold
Yeah God knew his heart
But he still had to pay for what he did

Yeah I'm sure his intent wasn't to sin
He didn't stay home from battle with the intent to commit adultery
He didn't go up to that roof with the expressed purpose of seeing Bathsheba all naked and bathing
He was probably just intending to rest awhile
Rest
With no intention
Of killing an innocent man
and taking away forever a woman's husband from her side
No
Not with a heart like God's
But he did
And for that
He had to pay
Fourfold

If any man could claim exemption
Escape judgment
By reason of the estate of his heart
It was David
That man
Had a heart like God's
But he still paid
One (II Samuel 12:15,18)
Two (II Samuel 13:1-17)
Three (II Samuel 13:28-32)
Fourfold (II Samuel 18:14 & 15)
.............................................................................................................
(KJV) Acts 13:22
And when he had removed him, he raised up unto them David to be their king; to whom also he gave testimony, and said, I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after mine own heart, which shall fulfil all my will.
.............................................................................................................
(KJV) Psalm 51:1,2, 4 & 10
[[To the chief Musician, A Psalm of David, when Nathan the prophet came unto him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.]]


Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.


Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.


Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.


Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
.............................................................................................................
still.
we can learn alot from David.

Friday, June 15, 2012

All the Glory


Listened to “the Hurt & the Healer” by MercyMe on my way to work.
I cried.
A good amount.
Enough to make it hard to see.
That song reminds me.
Of several things
And several people.

It reminds me of my brother Jeff.
Who can write like that.
He says just what needs to be said
And he says it well.
I read his writings
On the hardest of subjects
Without white wash
Real and tender
Like David
And I think
Man
How can he get those feelings down on paper?
You see
I can rarely speak of
The things that really matter
Or the pain that really hurts
Those words don’t flow for me
They groan
And I usually let the Holy Spirit speak them
‘Cause I don’t know what to say
And I appreciate Jeff’s ability to say it
Like the Holy Spirit speaks through him.
I admire that.

It reminds me of my brother John and his family
Really they are the first thing
When I cry
It’s for them.
But really
I don’t know whether I’m crying out of sadness
Or astonishment.
How could my brother say
“hold me accountable… that I give God all the glory”
In the midst of his daughter leaving him?
Going to heaven to be with Jesus
No selfish shout to heaven
Demanding God let her stay
How is that possible?
How can I hear my sister Llaby
Praise God with all sincerity and honesty
At her bedside?
How can a seven year old,
Our precious Yessenia,
Give her sister over to God
And ask for forgiveness
For being mad at Him?
And realize that her sister
Is where we all ought to be?

I learned more about peace
And praise
From a week with them
Than I could have
I don’t know
Ever
And I am indebted to them
I owe them
I owe them to do the same
Never
Ever
Let anything
Tootie
John
Llaby
Yessenia
Endured
Go in vain
That their faith reap
exactly what God intended for it too
And God get
ALL THE GLORY
And yeah
This song reminds me of that

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

a poem for staying


so i follow this IG-er.
he's a lyrical beast.
and puts me to absolute shame
in both quality and quantity of work.
it's inspired me to just pen more.
idea comes.
i click on the old notepad and do it.

heard a song called
a song for leaving
so i wrote a poem.
this one's to encourage me.
and hopefully
i'll listen.

now i know this sounds like i condemn the act of going
anywhere
but essentially
this poem is about head space.
not brick and mortar.
more
"where your head at?"
or
"where your heart be?"
i just need for God to
and where to begin
anywho
poem :)
.........................................................
a poem for staying
..........................................................
here's a poem for staying
just thought a little encouragement may be nice
read this please
when that midnight train
marked "for georgia"
whistles your name
let this remind you
why you are here
why you stayed
in the first place
look down at your packed bag
unzip it and see
what isn't there?
what did you forget?
what are you leaving behind?
review this list
of things i know
aren't right now
as you look down
in that bag

ready?

your first love
your reason for living
your responsibilties
your privledgies
your duties
your joy
your faith
His wisdom
His mercy
His grace
your good decisions
your calling
your God
your first love
your reason for living

if any of these things are missing
hear that boarding call
and run from it
it's not for you
go home and unpack
and next time
you hear it blow
take this list
and make sure
you get all those things in
and then see
if the weight of it keeps you here
but if you can pick up that bag
with all these things included
if you can throw it around your neck
and run
then run
run and catch that train
it may be for you
cause it called your name
and ALL of you
came running
...............................................................
disclaimer: i don't endorse the song mentioned above per se. i wasn't really listening to it... i was writing a poem by that time :P